Help Us Write the World’s Longest Story!

There have been human-eating marshmallows, damsels in distress, and unicorns made of blubber. What will happen next?!?

We are attempting to write the world’s longest story (we’re talking Earth, here–who could compete with the scribes of Jupiter?) and we need your help. If you happen to pass by the ITA, please contribute a sentence (or 12) and help us write the longest story known on this planet.